My Families as Faculty
partner and I decided to meet our family at a local restaurant. We walked into
the small, cozy restaurant and were greeted by a smile that warmed the entire room.
M. and her mother were towards the back of the room, but it was clear that they had been awaiting our arrival. We were seated in a small corner booth and spent the first few minutes getting to
know each other in casual conversation. We then ordered four different plates
and decided to share all of the entrees. This spoke volumes to me. M. and her mother were there to meet new members of their family, not to have an interview with two UNM
students. There is a very strong bond between the two of them that showed that
they had been close since M’s birth. M’s mother treats her with respect
and courtesy that shows that she wants the best for her daughter and she isn’t going to pamper her. She truly believes that M. has a very intuitive and intelligent mind, which she does! M. has a hard time with her disability because she mentally understands everything going on around her,
but she is physically unable to participate in the activities. Some things that
M. really enjoys are spending time with her family and texting on the phone. She
also loves shopping and loves buying Sippy cups at Wal*Mart! Her mom has to watch
her because if they go to the store and M. goes off on her own, she nearly always comes back with a handful of new cups! She has learned how to give her money to the cashiers and trust them to give her the
correct change. M. is also very capable of getting out of bed and dressing herself.
M. has high aspirations in life. She hopes to one day move out of the
house and get married. Mom has a very different idea of things and wants M. to
live with her forever! They had a pseudo fight about it while we were talking. It was a joy to watch their interaction!
As far as needs go, M. has a hard time using the restroom or taking a shower by herself. Her family is very open and close, so they all help with anything that needs to be done on the grooming
side of things. M. is very independent, and so there are really few things that
her mom considers “needs”.
M’s mom was very open about their experience in the schools. She
told us that they had only had one or two bad experiences. The hard times in
the schools mainly had to do with teachers who didn’t understand M’s abilities.
They considered her unable to understand them, and so would ignore her and even leave her in the classroom by herself
for lunch. This was horrible for M. because she is a very sociable person! Another problem was with a teacher who didn’t really want to be working with
students with any kind of disability and so she was just rude to the kids. It
was the first time in M’s schooling that she wanted to stay home from school.
This prompted her mom to get involved and that teacher was removed from the school.
M’s mom told us that if we take one thing away from our meeting with them, it would be to realize that students
with disabilities are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. They really
can understand what is going on and they are perceptive to whether those around
them really like them or not. Those statements really hit me hard. It is difficult for me to understand teachers that don’t treat their students with respect. It showed me though that we, as educators, really need to pay attention to our nonverbal
behavior. We may not even be aware of the way that our body language may say
that we are uninterested in what the student is trying to tell us. This would
be especially important on bad days. These children deserve our absolute best. They have enough to deal with in the world without having to add our bad attitudes
to the list!
M. is without a doubt one of the most beautiful people that I have ever had the pleasure and honor of meeting.